Men can be gentle, kind and loving.
I know, sounds crazy, right? Well it is I suppose, compared to everything you’ve been taught until now.
What’s the norm? We’re told by society to be strong, courageous, brave men who yell at women and control relationships. With these qualities, there has been instilled a connotation of aggression, force and violence. I encourage strength, courage and bravery, but understand that we must redefine the association we have with these terms in order to fully and healthily assimilate them into our lives.
With a new outlook on life, a man can offer loving kindness to all around him. He can accept humility and feel humble in the face of aggression and danger.
So what’s the trick?
Learn to cry like a man.
Put down your guard and cry. I cry often. I love to cry. If I haven’t cried in a while, I will cry just for the sake of it. There is plenty of grief and pain inside to supply the juicy tears I need for my satisfaction. I’ve been through death, loss, humiliation, change of state, awkwardness and physical pain. I’ve been made fun of, chewed up, spit out, scared of other men, scared of women, scared of leaving, scared of staying, scared of getting a new job, scared of not having any job.
I’ve been down the hole with no way out. I’ve been knee deep in quicksand, attacked by angry villagers, thrown about by turbulent planes. I’ve watched my father die.
Whatever the reason, I let my nose fill with mucus and drip down to the corners of my mouth. I let it all out, don’t hold anything back. When it passes, and it always does, I find the seemingly impossible to have occurred:
I am still alive.
Forget what you may have heard in the past.
Crying is the best thing a man can do for himself.
If you can let go of feeling ugly or weak, crying will free your spirit and empty your cartridges. Think of the function of your lungs. The more air you let out the more air you can get back. You’ve got to let it out to get more in return. Let go of your previous definition of strength, feel what you might consider weakness for two seconds, two minutes or two hours, and then watch as the meaning of the two interchange. Weakness can be seen now as holding on to your emotions, bottling them up so that you become angry, aggressive, and irritated. Strength now means letting go and dwelling in your vulnerable state. Do this and your sails will fill vividly with strong gusts of renewed energy, focus and clarity.
I promise you will find a fog cleared and a weight lifted. Consider it a cleansing, a genuine fortifying of the soul.
Men, start here. Let go of the anger and fear. Have the courage to let your guard down. Admit you are feeble. The real strength you will feel, the blissful energy and light that is there to renew you, is enough to lift you out of any dark hole in which you may have found yourself. Redefining what it means to be strong, courageous and brave in this way can change your life for the better, forever.