There’s stuff up here I wish I didn’t find. Bullet shells reading “Federal. 6. Game. 2 3/4″. 70mm.” Burned and charred trees. Acres of cut forest.
That said, there’s snow packed mountains. Miles of green mountains. No pavement. No man made structures, aside from the primitive dirt and rock road winding up the ledges of the mountains. The beauty and majesty I feel up here, it’s immense and peaceful. It’s terrifying.
Now that I’m here I don’t know what to say. There is really only to sit and let my eyes adjust to the expanse, being able to see so far without any sign of civilization blocking my view. If I didn’t have to poop I’d write more.
I could sit and recount the strange journey to the top, record every stream I crossed, even tell you about the black bear I saw run across my path, which might even bring you excitement. But it’s not writing. It’s merely stating facts. Drawing pictures. I wish to expel my thoughts from every orifice imaginable splashing like ink on paper. It’s not often the mind gets a direct outlet, unopposed, free. I figure the massive expanse is the perfect canvas. I will belch out my puny existence and paint the forest red, blue, or whichever color for that matter. Color? Or matter? Matter? Or does it?
I came here to escape, to be by myself, and the first fucking feeling I had coming up was fear. It was somewhat refreshing to have no signs, no predetermined path that others have laid out, but at the same time I was wishing there were! “This way to the top!” “No wrong turns!” “No surprises.” But I took wrong turns, scraped over shrubs and bounced on rocks, ended at sheer cliff faces, did 6 point turns, retraced my steps, or rolls in this matter, and took the right turns eventually, if you can call them such. The important thing, my heart was pounding in my chest, threatening to burst through my throat and out of my mouth and to go thump, bump bouncing down the mountain cliff.
I had many reactions to this heart spasm; fear, anger, delirious humor. But to be so agitated! To be so exhilarated, so heartpoundingly alive! This is why I cam here today. I see that now. That moment has passed as I descend at a higher vibration having experienced such exhilaration. I will seek it again I am sure. Each obstacle overcome necessitates the search for bigger obstacles, larger vibrations, bigger heart pumps.
Personal, spiritual, energetic growth.
Now I think I hear a bear.
It’s time to get down from this rock.
Check out the video I took below.